Dream Lover
by tea-induced scribbles
Summary: Short Fiction; set between S3 and S4, Sasha is with James and everything seems ok but there are moments when Tom creeps back into her mind. A little Jamsha and a little Tomsha. (COMPLETE)


A/N: Set between S3 and S4, this is unrelated to my other works. Be kind, Tomsha smut is not my strong suit. Hence, it's just a short fic to help clear the mind and thank you to Scousedancer for the inspiration.

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 **Dream Lover**

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Sasha returned from the showers, stepped into her quarters and closed the door, when she turned she realised she wasn't alone. She turned and blinked as she wasn't sure she was dreaming. Tom stood up from where he'd been sitting, his features soften with affection and longing. She had to remember that he'd left her, he'd left the ship but now he was back, and yet somehow it didn't feel permanent.

"You're back." she said, she felt conscious of how she was standing there in nothing but a bath towel. He gave a nod not speaking, frankly she didn't want him to as she dropped her toiletries bag and rushed at him. She grasped his face in her hands, allowing her heart to speak for her.

"Don't ever leave me again. I need you." she whispered, her deepest thoughts coming forth even though she feared what he'd do. He looked into her eyes. Sasha could see his sharp intelligence, his raw, almost brutal strength, and his gentle tenderness all mixed together in his beautiful deep blue eyes. "Just stay," She said, the meaning of her invitation not lost on either of them.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice a ragged whisper. Sasha smiled and nodded, relieved as he was staying. She kissed him. Who the hell knew, she'd found the answers to all of her questions in his eyes.

He groaned, as she swept her tongue fiercely into his mouth. And then his hands were in her hair, on her throat, on her breasts. He was touching her everywhere, as if he wanted to feel all of her at once and didn't know where to start.

He soon found a place as his hands slid down her back to her backside, pressing her hips tightly against him, holding her in place as he slanted his head and kissed her even harder.

She opened her legs, taking advantage of the slit up the side of towel wrapped around her body, and she rubbed the inside of her thigh against his. His hand caught her leg, and he pressed her still closer to him.

Tom's mouth slid down to her neck as his hand pulled the towel away and proceeded to cup her breast. The roughness of his callused fingers rasped her sensitive skin as he stroked the hard bud of her nipple. Her body zinged in pleasure and her breathing sped up as her body heated by the simple contact.

"Oh, god," Tom breathed between kisses, as he slipped his hand other hand around her waist anchoring her to him. Sasha relished the feel of nothing between his fingers and her flesh.

"Do you know how long I've been dying to touch you like this?" Tom asked as Sasha's fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.

"Probably the same amount of time I've been dying for you to touch me like that again." Sasha replied. He lifted his head, looking into her eyes.

"Really?" His gaze was so intense, so serious.

"Time may have passed but how I felt for you- feel for you has never changed." Sasha confessed, her pulse kicked into overtime. Tom answered with a long slow kiss, her heart bloomed with joy and love as they finally had it. It was their time. She melted into his caresses and kisses until he pulled back.

She bit her bottom lip as he gazed into her eyes, Sasha felt the coolness of the air as it touched her skin. And then she felt Tom, as he lightly ran one finger across the tip of her breast. She felt her body tighten, felt her nipples grow more taut, even more fully aroused. He held her gaze longer than she would have believed possible before his eyes dropped down to caress the bareness of her breast.

"God," he breathed, moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue. "You're so beautiful." he told her, it felt like they were frozen in place as if time had somehow stopped. But time hadn't stopped. Her heart was still beating, and with every beat, every surge of blood through her veins, Sasha wanted him even more. She reached for him, pushing his jacket off his shoulders. She tore at the shirt appreciating the popping sounds of snap buttons as the shirt opened. Tom yanked it off his arms.

Sasha touched his smooth, tanned muscles with the palms of her hands, closing her eyes at the sensation, running her fingers through the curly dark hair on his chest. Oh, yes. He was so beautiful, so solid.

Before she knew it, Tom picked her up. He simply swept her effortlessly into his arms and carried her to the small single bed. Sasha had her hands on the button of his pants before he yanked back the bed cover and laid her on the clean white sheets.

As she unfastened his belt, she unzipped his pants and pushed them over his incredible rear end. Tom pulled back, nearly burning her with his eyes as he took her in, lying propped up on her elbows on the bed, naked. Lord, when he looked at her like that, with that fire in his eyes, she felt like the sexiest woman in the world.

Slowly, he pushed off his shoes and stepped out of his trousers, still watching her. Sasha was watching him, too. He was wearing only a pair of white briefs. She'd seen him naked before but it had been years ago. It was like she were relearning him. So, this time she really let herself look.

His shoulders were broad and solid as rock. His arms were powerful and so very big. She couldn't have even begun to span his biceps with both of her hands, although she wanted rather desperately to try. His chest was wide and covered with a sprinkle of salt and pepper hair.

His muscles were clearly defined, and they rippled sensually when he so much as breathed. His stomach was a washboard of ridges and valleys, his hips narrow, his legs as strong as steel.

She took it all in, memorizing his body in amazing, precise detail, down to the scars on his shoulder and left flank, and the bird tattoo on his arm.

But tonight there were some differences. She let her eyes linger on the bulge straining the front of his briefs. Sasha looked up to find Tom watching her, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Part of me wants to stand here and just look at you all night," he said. She glanced down at his arousal, then smiled into his eyes.

"Another part of you won't be very happy if you do that." she told him, she wasn't going to be happy either.

"Damn straight," he said with a laugh but still not moving.

"Do I really have to beg you to come over here?" Sasha asked him with a huff of frustration.

"No." he answered and then he was next to her on the bed and she was in his arms, and then, he was kissing her, touching her, running his hands across her body, filling her mouth with his tongue, tangling her legs with his.

It was ecstasy and contentment rolled together as she wanted more but at the same time was sated. It was like how it was before all those years ago but better. Oh so better as the passion between them has grown and seasoned into the sweetest, purest, most powerful passion she had ever known.

She touched him, reaching down between their bodies to press the palm of her hand against his hardness, and when he groaned, she smiled devilishly enjoying his pleasure. His hands were everywhere and his mouth was everywhere else. His fingers dipped down inside her, and he moaned as he felt her wet heat.

"Yes," Sasha said. It was the only word she seemed able to form with her lips. "Yes." She murmured as tugged at his briefs, pulling him free from their confines, moaning her pleasure at the sensation of him in her hands.

He was silky smooth and so hard, and oh...He sat up, pulling away from her, he pulled off his briefs. She sat up, following him, kneeling next to him on the bed, reaching for him, unwilling to let him go. Sasha encircled his neck with her arms, brushing the hard tips of her breasts against his solid chest and her soft stomach against his arousal.

He kissed her a long, sweet, slow, deep kiss that made her bones melt and her muscles feel like jelly. Still kissing her, he pulled her onto his lap, so that she was straddling his thighs. Then, taking her hips in his hands, he slowly, so slowly, lifted her up, above him.

Sasha pulled back from Tom's kiss, her eyes open. He began to lower her down, on top of him, and as the very tip of him parted her most intimately, he opened his own eyes, meeting her gaze.

Slowly, impossibly slowly, a fraction of an inch at a time, he lowered her onto him, staring all the while into her eyes. The muscles in his powerful arms were taut, but the sweat on his upper lip wasn't from physical exertion. He lifted her slowly back up, off him, and then brought her down again, so that he was barely inside her, setting a deliberate and leisurely teasing rhythm.

Sasha moaned, she wanted more- no, she needed more. She needed all of him. She tried to shift her weight, to bring herself down more fully on top of him, but his strong arms held her firmly in place. Her moan changed to a cry of pleasure as his mouth latched on to her breast, but still he didn't release her hips.

He covered her mouth with his, kissing her fiercely as he arched his body up and pushed her hips down and filled her completely, absolutely, incredibly.

The sound she heard herself make was almost inhuman as he plunged into her, filling her again and again and again. The rhythm was frantic, feverish, and Sasha threw back her head, delirious from the sweet sensations exploding inside her as she found her release. Arrows of pleasure shot through her, straight to her heart.

Tom's fingers stabbed through her hair as he called out her name and she clung to his neck and shoulders. She rode his explosive release, letting his passion carry her higher, even higher, loving the way he held her as if he were never going to let her go.

Sasha blinked and found herself completely disorientated. She was hit by the realization that it was a dream. Her throat ached with bottled up emotions as tears burned the back of her eyes. _It was a dream..._ she told herself. She sat up, her body covered in a light sheen of sweat, her heart pounded and her stomach twisted in knots as she still felt the blurry lines between sleep and the world around her. The contrast was striking. Her chest ached painfully as she barely blinked and she was back in her quarters on the Nathan James. Different quarters than the one in her dreams.

She leaned over her legs and pressed her hands into her face. Forcing herself to push back her emotions. She felt raw and heartbroken as she had all those months ago when Tom kissed her and walked away without another word. She wondered when she'd ever get over Tom, get over the potential they had, the potential they both denied themselves. They had left everything completely unresolved and messy which wasn't new for them. If anything it was rinse and repeat. But this time it felt final which made the dreams that much more disturbing and heartbreaking.

A hand smoothed up her spine, she shivered from feel as it disturbed her thoughts. But she relaxed as she knew who it was. He wasn't the enemy but he wasn't Tom. Which made his touch just riddle her with guilt instead of soothing. But she appreciated the gesture as James was so incredibly caring and understanding.

"Sash?" James' gruff voice murmured half asleep. "Bad dream?" he asked her, lord knew it wasn't the first time she'd had bad dreams. There wasn't a soul who survived the pandemic who wasn't riddled with them.

"I'm ok, just another dream." Sasha told him, rationalising the truth but wrapping it in a lie. James had no clue what she dreamt about only that it left her unsettled. Like most of her dreams and nightmares; they all had an edge that made them feel as real as sitting up in bed right now did. She swallowed as she smoothed a hand down his arm. Guilt riding her as James wasn't Tom and he never would be. "Go back to sleep." she told him, he made a murmur of agreement. His hand dropped away and he turned onto his side.

She watched as his form, noting as his breathing slowed. James was asleep, she wondered if she should really be in a relationship again. It was clear Tom was so deeply entrenched in heart. But she was tired of being alone; she deserved to be loved and to love. She wanted to laugh and smile, to capture happiness where she could; something that wasn't available with Tom.

She got out bed and pulled on her gym clothes. She couldn't sit in bed with James thinking of Tom and she needed to clear her head. The tears burned the back of her eyes again as she felt the familiar ache of emptiness. The conflict of emotions as her heart and body felt like everything in the dream was perfect, it was right and it brought forth the unfairness of her possibly being incapable of finding it with someone else.

She blinked the tears back as she knew the feeling would pass. The dream would haunt her, just as the emotions would but it would all fade eventually. She would move on, everything would be ok. But for now, she go to gym and do her best to take her mind off of the one man she could never have.

Until the next dream.

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 **The End**


End file.
